Magdalen College JCR

Breaking a streak of consecutive second place finishes in Alternative Ice Hockey cuppers, Magdalen's firsts, titled Bambi on Ice, came out with the win after a nail-biting final on Friday. Because the corrupt referees disallowed Magdalen's fully legal winning goal, the match went to a penalty shoot-out, where Jan "Good Lad" Bialas scored the winning shot. The team was led by Jasper "Mid-Wales Masterpiece" Syms and also consisted of Ben "mudget barco" Anketell, Emma "Ghent" Hay, Henry "Gatwick Airport" Bradley, Gwyndaf "body on the line" Oliver, and Jan "vodka no mixer" Bialas.Our freshers' development squad, "Deertroit Red Wings" finished mid table, which was very respectable given their relative inexperience.

After four hours of alternative ice hockey which began at midnight, Magdalen's firsts, titled Pittsburgh Penguins Development Squad, emerged with second place in alts cuppers. The team was led by Emma "teapot" Hay and also consisted of D J "Solihull Snake" Clarke, Jasper "Mid-Wales Masterpiece" Syms, Ben "Sevenoaks Savage" Anketell, Winston "Chingo" Wright, and Henry "Gatwick Airport" Bradley.
The seconds, captained by Jan "I only drink straight vodka" Bialas, also put on a solid performance, but drew a tough group and barely failed to reach the quarterfinals.

Magdalen made a valiant effort against Keble's firsts in Rugby Cuppers on Saturday. While Magdalen did manage to put out a full side of 15 men, we only had 27 and a half boots, and Babak "Gentle Giant" Sarani had no choice but to borrow a pair from Keble. We would have had 29.5 boots, but James "keep lad culture out of rugby" Yeomans forgot to bring the pair that he'd borrowed from Babak.
As it turned out, Keble not only had more boots but also far more subs than Magdalen. Despite their claim that fifteen members of the team were out because of injury, Keble managed to bring out about thirty men and a handful of pom-poms for the bench to cheer on the starters.
Magdalen managed to hold Keble to only two tries in the first fifteen minutes, but injuries began to plague the team, and we were down to only eleven by halftime. At this point, Keble decided that they couldn't take any more punishment, and we called it off.
While we hadn't really expected to beat the Keble side, which trains twice weekly and just won the top division of the league, the defeat might've felt a bit better if we'd scored at least 3 points.

Magdalen College Football club remains undefeated in 2017 with their second win in as many days, a 3-2 nail biter against Christ Church. A remarkable performance came from "Mad Lad" Sven with two goals, including a rocket to the top corner. Ben "Manky" Anketell capitalized on a rather tragic keeper error for the third goal. MCFC has already gathered more league wins in the last two days than in the entirety of Michaelmas; who knows what might be in store for the rest of the term!?

In perhaps the biggest blowout since Brazil v Germany in the 2014 world cup, MCFC seconds handily disposed of Teddy Hall thirds 16-nil.
Particularly strong performances from Patrick "Hat Trick" Thompson (actually scored a quartet), Jack "Feel the" Steele with two goals while only playing one half, and Winston "Window" Wright, who saved a penalty, kept a clean sheet, and even made an assist in his five minutes in the outfield.
While there is no open top bus booked this time, there will be a celebration in a few weeks, located firmly at the top of the league table.