|3||My room is totally fab. It’s one of the larger Grove pads (the photo is deceptive), with immaculate décor and furniture, a funky faux fireplace, a respectable en-suite shower/toilet and sensibly-placed power/phone/Ethernet points. The large, east-facing window in the bedroom means that you get the morning sun and enables you to watch the deer and/or spy on your friends in Grove D. The bathroom window, on the other hand, looks out onto Longwall Street, the merits of which are debatable. You can watch the world go by/see into New College accommodation whilst you sit on the loo – Hitchcock fans could probably re-create ‘Rear Window’. Friends in Swithun’s rooms, envious of your en-suite bathroom and unstained carpets, sometimes accuse Grove of being soulless, but the uniform lines and large swathes of clean, magnolia wall-space give you the perfect opportunity to adopt your own design-scheme. A few carefully arranged cushions, throws, vases and posters soon transform any Grove room from retro-Travelodge chic into a designer pad fit for the centre pages of ‘World of Interiors’. Well maybe that’s a slight exaggeration, but you get the idea. I have two slight gripes with this room. The first is the lack of storage space (college didn’t see why conference guests would need a large wardrobe or bookcase) and the second is the heating, which is controlled by a silly motion-sensor on the wall. If you’re pacing energetically around the room, the sensor whacks the heating up full. If, on the other hand, you’re sitting motionlessly at your desk at some ungodly hour of the morning, or have simply gone to bed, the sensor thinks you’re out and turns the heating off. The second-floor location is neither good nor bad – it gives you reasonable privacy, but the stairs are a pain when you’re lugging all your stuff into or out of your room. The room is generally exceptionally quiet, though you can hear every door shutting on the staircase and the walls/floors are not particularly thick. A major plus-point of this room is that it’s attended by Carol the Scout, who’s lovely and always up for a chat. Incidentally, Carol tells me that Grove A is better constructed than Grove D, but I suspect she may just be in competition with her mate Mary, who cleans over there. All in all, this is a great room, and is sure to impress family and friends from poor colleges alike.